Roommate Unwanted
One of the many perks of living in Korea vs. back home is the living situation. A place.. all to myself.. before 30? In a big city that I like? How is this possible?
I’ve had my fair share of (mostly pleasant) roommates, but these days my only roommate is non-human.
And that roommate is…THE MOSQUITO.
Like another roommate (human) I had in NYC, I only see him when he wants to eat, when we lock eyes and he quickly disappears. And despite the cold, cold temperatures here in Busan, he and his family still thrive somehow. Just waiting. And watching.
Let’s take a look at some of my other past roommates who still owe me rent.
Started squatting in my first apartment ever in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. This little turd kept me awake at night playing games and actually caused me to move out in my weakened state. An old boyfriend of mine managed to trap him in a box and without thinking of step two, threw him into the hallway in a panic. I thought the problem was solved but of course, he came back and settled in.
Like the quarter full bottles of Advil and expired vitamins that have traveled with me to almost every new apartment, Cockroach Jr.and his friends have made appearances in most of my city apartments. Despite a consistently empty sink and regular trash emptyings, they always manage to find their way into the old buildings I’ve lived in. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with generations of cockroaches living with rent control.
Arriving through a hole in our alleyway, this rude dude Kool-Aid man style broke through my closet wall and was seen sitting on my office window sill in a rowhome I lived in, in Philly. Eventually lured out with orange slices, it turned out that two of his brothers were also in tow, scratching and clawing, like a terrible nightmare that was my waking life for a few weeks.
It's been more than ten years since I've lived on my own and considering overpriced rents, inflation, and interest over time, I think some money is due back to me from these greasy little creatures. Pool your money together and pay up, ya weasels.*
*Thankfully, no real weasels crashed in my apartments. The thought of an evil weasel face staring at me in the night sends a chill down my spine.